“Why is Everyone so Mean to Me?”

Have you been feeling lately that people are just out to get you for no good reason?

Was the cashier at the grocery store snippy with you when you needed assistance? Are your friends and family always taking cheap shots at you? Did your sister not come to your engagement party and go hangout with her friends instead?

There are many ways that people can be rude and upset you, whether they’re your strangers, or even your best friends.

Being on the receiving end of someone's meanness can leave you feeling hurt, confused, and even angry. While it's important to remember that you are not responsible for other people's actions, understanding some of the reasons why someone may be mean to you can help you navigate the situation more effectively. 

Here are 10 reasons why people are so mean to you:

1. They're Dealing With Their Own Issues 

People who are dealing with personal problems such as stress, anxiety, or depression may take it out on others. They may be struggling to manage their emotions and lash out in response to even small things. It's not an excuse for their behavior, but it can be helpful to remember that it's not necessarily about you.

Use Galvan as a Way to Track and Manage Emotions 

When someone’s mental health is subpar, that can translate into how they treat other people. If you feel like other people are always mean to you, that is likely taking a toll on your mental health as well. 

A good way to track and manage your personal health on a real-time basis is through the Galvan app. Galvan is a free mental health app that helps you track your physical and mental health—and rewards you for doing it too! Download our newly launched app below! With Galvan you’ll be able to see a more complete picture of your health - the app will assess your heart rate, your exercise habits, and even the nearly-imperceptible nuances of your voice to help you track your mental health on a daily basis. 

We hope that this can assist you in managing tough times and hard emotions, and perhaps guide you to find more balance, health and peace even when others are unkind.

2. They Feel Threatened by You 

Another reason people might be mean to you is that they feel threatened by those who they perceive as a threat to their own sense of power or control, or self worth. Many people feel insecure, and seeing the success of others can make them feel more insecure. This kind of “meanness” can manifest in various ways, such as belittling or criticizing you in front of others, refusing to acknowledge your accomplishments, or spreading rumors or gossip about you. It's important to remember that this behavior is about their own insecurities and not a reflection of your worth. Try to brush it off when people are mean because you intimidate them and take it as a compliment instead!

3. They Don't Understand Your Perspective 

Communication breakdowns can be a common cause of conflict between people. If someone is being mean to you, it could be that they are not understanding your point of view or taking the time to listen to you. This can lead to frustration and hostility, which can manifest in aggressive or belittling behavior. If this is the reason for someone’s hostility towards you, try doing something nice for them and finding a time to emotionally connect so that they can hear your viewpoint and empathize with you.

4. They Are Jealous 

Envy can be a powerful emotion that can drive people to act in ways that are not rational or fair. If someone is mean to you, it could be because they are jealous of your accomplishments, your possessions, or even your personality. They may be struggling with feelings of inadequacy and taking it out on you. You could try pointing out the good in that person to help them feel better about their own accomplishments so that they aren’t as mean to you.

5. They Have a History of Abuse 

Unfortunately, some people who are mean to others may have a history of abuse or trauma. They may have learned to use aggression as a way to cope with difficult situations or to assert their dominance over others. This can be challenging to deal with, as they may be resistant to change or unwilling to acknowledge that their behavior is hurtful. It can be helpful to be patient with and understanding of people who have a painful past. Although there may not be immediate results, showing your support and kindness goes a long ways. 

6. They Have Low Self-Esteem

When someone with low self-esteem is struggling to accept themselves, they may project their negative feelings onto others. They may feel useless, unworthy, or have other negative feelings and don’t know how to manage them well. Projecting those unresolved feelings can be manifested as criticism, put-downs, or even bullying. They may feel insecure about their own flaws and use others' perceived flaws as a way to deflect attention away from themselves. Try to not take these insults personally and understand that those insults may be coming from places of insecurity. 

7. They Are Emotionally Immature

Someone who is emotionally immature may exhibit mean behavior towards others due to their inability to regulate their emotions or empathize with others. They may lack the skills to communicate their feelings effectively and instead resort to hostile or passive-aggressive behavior. They may also struggle with taking responsibility for their actions and may blame others for their own problems. Overall, their mean behavior can stem from a lack of emotional maturity and an inability to navigate social situations in a healthy and constructive way. Being patient with them and trying to surround yourself with emotionally mature people can really take a load off for you.

8. They Think You’re an Easy Target

Someone who thinks you're an easy target may be mean to you as they perceive you as vulnerable and unlikely to fight back. They may enjoy the sense of power or control they feel by being mean to someone they see as weaker than them. This behavior can also stem from their own insecurities and a need to feel better about themselves by putting others down. Overall, being mean to someone perceived as an easy target can be a way for the perpetrator to boost their own self-esteem and assert their dominance. Appearing confident and strong can send the message to others that you aren’t an easy target and help you gain more respect from others.

9. You Make Them Feel Bad

If you make someone feel bad, whether intentionally or not, they may be mean to you as a way to retaliate or protect themselves. They may feel hurt, angry, or embarrassed by what you said or did, and as a result, they may lash out or act defensively towards you. This behavior can also stem from a desire to restore their self-esteem or protect their ego, especially if they feel that you have challenged their sense of self-worth. While this behavior is not acceptable, it's important to acknowledge that our actions and words can have a powerful impact on others and to take responsibility for how we make others feel.

10. They are Seeking Attention

Someone who is being mean to you may be seeking attention, whether consciously or unconsciously. They may crave validation, recognition, or social status, and being mean to others can be a way to achieve those things. They may believe that by putting others down or acting aggressively, they will be seen as powerful or popular. Additionally, they may have learned that negative attention is better than no attention at all, and may use mean behavior as a way to get others to pay attention to them. However, it's important to remember that seeking attention through mean behavior is not a healthy or sustainable way to build relationships or achieve personal fulfillment, and it's important to set boundaries and prioritize your own well-being when dealing with someone who is consistently mean to you.

Conclusion

Mean people are always a hassle to deal with and can lead you to some uncomfortable feelings and conversations. Being constantly put down by others can make you feel even worse, though.

Dealing with people can be especially difficult when the mean person is a spouse, partner, sibling, or close friend. Prioritize your own mental health and well-being and remember that you don't have to tolerate abusive or hurtful behavior. You may need to consider ending the relationship or seeking professional help if it is getting out of hand. 

Whether you’re on the receiving end of mean comments from close relatives and friends or a stranger, try to consider the feelings of the person who is mean to you and understand that they are most likely having a hard time themselves. Offering grace to others frees you from the emotional turmoil that comes from dealing with the rudeness of others, and allows you to move on and find peace for yourself.

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